break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
