Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
