everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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