Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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