Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Randomize
