I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
