i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
