He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize
