the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
