...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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