I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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