Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
