anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
