At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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