apparently the secret to your success is patron
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
