it wasn't lemon gatorade
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
We named our party play list daddy issues
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Randomize