DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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