So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
