I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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