Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
