Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
