I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
