i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
