I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
