so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
