Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
We have started to decorate penises.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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