i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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