So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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