Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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