we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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