grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
My vagina is officially offended.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
jump out the window naked night went bad
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
