Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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