So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Randomize
