she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
