apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
