i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
my shit smells like andre
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
