So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
