in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
