I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize