yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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