you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
