so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
