In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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