Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
