Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
