This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
everyone is single if you try hard enough
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize