Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
