all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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