so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
