Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
