i was rollin on her like bob the builder
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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