Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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