I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
