Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
