So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
