im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
