Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
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