He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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