when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
