if only i could text you this smell
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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