Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
