I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
