just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
