You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
