I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize