Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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